i am a bijuu now Great
by ferpet
Summary: A detective from our world appears in Naruto's... as Kyuubi. The things are not the same anymore. Many things deviated from the canon. Will the world ever be the same?- No. Will it be interesting?- It's up to you to decide after reading this mixture of adventure,fantasy and humor. everything is unpredictable. It's naruto we are talking about. Rated M for freedom. No pairings yet.
1. Chapter 1

**I am a Bijuu now… Great…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

Chapter1. October 10th.

Many stories start through different accidents. Mine isn't different.

I grew up in an orphanage. Never knew my real family. And I didn't care. Other children from that place became my family. That orphanage was my home. I liked it there. Of course it was a harsh life. But it was there that I learned what means family.

Our favorite show was "Naruto". You may think it was silly. But for poor kids like me it was a revelation. Never back down; always help other members of your family! Train hard to achieve your goals! We all lived by this creed. Ahh, fun times…

Then I was able to pass exams into a college, then a University. Learning was a hard process, but I managed. I even got a degree in laws. At that moment I decided to start helping people.

I became a private detective. I was young, brash, inexperienced. I thought I knew what was right and what was wrong. I thought with fists and not my head. I thought that if I knew some martial arts I could take on the world. I thought I was invincible. And of course I was wrong.

Fate really knows how to remind a person of his vulnerability.

Soon I was shown the harsh truth. In order to survive in this world you need to become a predator. And I became. My business started to grow; I had enough money not to have any material problems. Life was good. But something was amiss. Later, already in Naruto world, I realized it was purity- the time when I was a brash young idiot. Figures. Sometimes you have to die in order to realize something.

I died on the way to my home. It was late in the night, I was tired and was unable to see the threat fast enough. I felt somebody stabbing me in the back with some sharp object. Probably it was a knife because the strike was too narrow for something else. Heh, even I death I thought about evidence. It didn't matter anymore. I died before I hit the ground.

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_No, my dear friend, your journey has just begun…_

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I woke up with pain in my head … in shackles. What the hell!

The space around me was white. I couldn't move a muscle in my furry body… wait, furry?! Than memories flooded my mind, but they were not my memories, they were memories of another person. A nine-tailed demon fox to be precise.

"_**Kurama, don't cry. One day you and your siblings will find the one who will guide you onn the road to peace. Until that day live and remember what I told you all- you are not animals, not weapons, you are persons."**_

This sudden memory brought me peace, which didn't last long though. I was in a body of Kyuubi now. No, wrong, I was the Kyuubi now. I didn't remember my birth name. But I had a new one-Kurama.

Since I was in a white space it meant I was still sealed in Kushina Uzumaki. Great, that meant I would probably be able to avert crisis. Wrong, I couldn't. As far as I remembered Kushina's seal prevented any contact with her from my part in order to bind me more effectively. Plus she wouldn't trust me. What could I do then? I decided to try to remember. I looked through the memories of previous Kurama. I was interested in my abilities. I could actually overdrive some parts of the seal to get Kushina's attention. That was a start. Suddenly I found a great deal of information about sealing arts in my head. That was also useful. I knew about my fighting capabilities from manga and anime so it didn't matter. But sealing arts- Kurama didn't know them in the anime. If he knew-why didn't he use them?

"_He didn't know them. He knew about seals a little but he was no sealing master."_

"Who are you?"

"_I am known by many names: Creator, Lord, the Divine One, but you could call me Kami or God."_

"Why am I here? Why am I in this state? What happened?"

"_You died and then you were reborn. I chose you because of your knowledge and your belives. You can make a difference here."_

"What difference?"

"_It's up to you to discover. I gave you knowledge in different areas: ninjutsu, genjutsu, fighting styles, sealing arts-all of them are yours. Oh, today is October 10__th__, by the way. __**That **_October 10th_"_

Well shit.

Then I saw a red eye with 3 points. And then blackness.

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Next thing I knew I was standing in the streets of Konoha in my giant form. Buildings around were on fire. The village was burning. Dammit, everything went just like in the anime. And I couldn't change anything! At least I could reduce the damage to the village. I looked at the sky. It was cloudy. "Perfect"-I thought.

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Sarutobi Hiruzen was tired. He was way beyond his prime. He was old. But he couldn't back down. He had people to protect. Still, he couldn't help but think.

What happened with Kushina's seal?

Where was Minato?

Why Kyuubi had Sharigan?

Everything was wrong. Suddenly Kyuubi stopped. Hiruzen looked into Demon's eyes. They were not clouded by Sharigan anymore- they were clear. And they were expressing guilt, sorrow, regret and fear. Kyuubi looked around. His chackra was so potent that it started fires around. It was a beast of destruction indeed. Half of the village was in flames. Then Kyuubi looked at the sky. To Hiruzen's surprise the beast roared: "Fire Style: Divine Fire Missle!"

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"Fire Style: Divine Fire Missle!"-I roared. Out of my mouth a column of fire flew into the sky to the clouds. "Come on!"-I chanted.-"Come on!" and my prayers were answered- it started to rain. Now the fire was not such a big issue. It was reduced to acceptable level. Then I sensed it. The Fourth was in Konoha. I was ready.

I moved in his direction slowly. He stood on top of Chief Toad Gamabunta, he didn't move, though he was ready to fight. I approached them slowly. "Is **the Uchiha** away?"-I asked him quietly.

He nodded. "What are you going to do?"- he asked.

I sighed. "A child of prophecy was born today. And Konoha still needs a Jinchūriki." Namikaze was surprised. He didn't expect this reply. As I sealed my fate with these words, we both disappeared in a yellow flash.

**That's the beginning of a new story. Please, tell me if something good can come out of this. Review, people.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter2. This is like a simulator!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

I woke up with a headache. At that moment I thought I had some nasty dream, but by looking around I realized that it wasn't a dream at all. I was placed in a cage in all too familiar sewers. Though I actually couldn't remember the sealing process itself. "Damn, I need some coffee right now."- as soon as I thought about coffee a cup of coffee appeared in front of me… "A cheeseburger?"-same result…

"_My-my, you already testing your powers I see."_

"_Kami_? What's going on? What powers are you talking about?"

"_You can project any item in the boy's mindscape; you can change your appearance, you can share your knowledge, you can enter mindscapes of other people, when Naruto will be in dire need you'll be able to get outside of the seal in your human form to protect him and many other things which you should discover later. Oh, and try to enjoy all the knowledge I gave you… Detective"_

Well, that was descriptive. Now, to the boy's memories…

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You know some things shouldn't be written at all. This includes my thoughts about Naruto's first six years of life. Years of abuse, loneliness and fear. At least the Third was able to help him, along with Inu ANBU (Kakashi) and Ichuraku family. Naruto was growing with a mask of indifference, like he didn't care what others thought about him. But Hokage knew better. So he became his friend and was one of few people who saved him from insanity. Good for him and for me. As for my thoughts, well a certain red hair from Sound Four would die from shame if she would hear them.

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"Fuck, an all powerful being like Shinigami, capable of destroying whole nations in a blink of an eye, fucked up with a simple filter of the seal." For anyone who knew seals doing chakra filters was like creating storage seals-piece of cake. But no, our "dear" Death God was so pressed on time (wanted to get the 4th soul), that he practically didn't see what he was doing. Oh, how I wanted to shout at him!

Because of this crappy filter Naruto received too much of my chakra. Of course, lot's of chakra is what makes Naruto Naruto. But it affected his growth in a bad way. Really bad way. No wonder he is the shortest among his age!

In order to make him higher I needed vitamins, which a person gathered by eating vegetables. But Narut wouldn't be Naruto if he hadn't been eating only ramen. I concur, it is a good food to eat, and it's even healthy-in a right dose. BUT NOT IN THIS UNGODLY AMMOUNTS! Yeah, now that I shouted it out it became easier. Alright we would work with something we have. I could try to strengthen the filter on his seal, give him knowledge in small amounts and do something about his thinking… maybe.

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_1 YEAR LATER_

First, I was able to strengthen the filter. Now my chakra is more controlled by Naruto. Second, I was able to make him faster, stronger and a little higher-but only a little. Still not enough vitamins. His attention span-could be worse. At least he understood what Iruka said on lections. That was already a big success. Naruto's grades weren't the best by they were worse in canon, so it was success again. As for his relationships… I couldn't change anything. His peers still avoided him like a plague, except Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru and Hinata. They acted like in canon timeline. Which was good, but Naruto was still dense about Hinata. Damn it!

Uchiha massacre happened right on time. This is another thing I couldn't change at all. Kami even confronted me about it: _"Do not try to change every detail, help Naruto first, your time will come later."_

Well, I couldn't discard an advice like that, so I kept my mouth shut and continued to monitor the situation with Naruto's body.

Another interesting fact- Naruto starts to show some of my knowledge. In hand-to-hand combat class he started to use my moves from Judo and Karate. When he was asked about it he said he just acted on instinct. Another success. Still, Naruto is among deadlasts because he couldn't do a simple clone. Too much chakra, would have to work on that later…

Oh, about his pranks… Like in canon, one word-magnificent. I'll download some trap knowledge later. We'll see if he will improve.

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You know, all this work with Naruto reminded me of a manager simulator. Why do I have associations with computer games? I don't know… I'll think about it later.

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**This is the end of another short chapter. Don't worry, I'll upload another one, which will be longer tomorrow. If you have something to say , please say it in review. Oh, I plan to insert some crossover elements later, as well as interactions between Naruto and Kurama in the next chapter. This chapter was a step, which showed what how Naruto began to develop. That is all. Please review.**


	3. birth of a detective

**Chapter 3. Birth of a detective.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke wouldn't be such a moron…**

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What can I say about last years before graduation from the Ninja academy? The butterfly effect is a bitch for my brains. First, Sasuke Uchiha was not the only one who survived the Uchiha Massacre. There are about 20 other children, mostly at the age of 2 or 3, and about 3 elders who are living and kicking. And our Sasuke is the clan head now. Well, there are bad and good things about this situation. Bad thing- there are a lot of potential Root members. "Thank you", shiny Sharigans. The Third tries to look after them, they are guarded by the ANBU 24 hours 7 days in a week, but we all know Danzou… Well, good thing, Sasuke is not as broody as he could be, now that he had somebody to take care of. He is more opened to people around, has friends (everyone from Konoha 9) and doesn't have this stick up his ass… too much. Well, that means he would be easier to deal later.

Naruto wasn't **Dead Last** anymore. Of course thanks to some moronic chunin instructors he wasn't the best in the class, but at least now he knew the theory, basics, was one of the best in taijutsu, and ninjutsu… But he couldn't make that fucking bunshin still… sometimes having much chakra sucked. Because of this flaw he still couldn't pass his exams. Worst for me- I couldn't help him at all. I couldn't leak him any knowledge about Shadow Clones Technique- his mind was not ready yet. He needed to know about me inside him first. Damn Kami and his rules… Well that also meant we could peak in the forbidden scroll later.

Everything went really well, actually, until an interesting thing happened one day…

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_**One sudden interesting day…**_

Naruto was training. By punching a tree. Naruto was persistent. Poor tree…

Punch, block, strike, roll, another strike… He was always in motion, never standing at the same place. Splinters were lying around. Huh, the kit grew strong, really strong. He knew how to strike, where to strike and when. He absorbed some of my human knowledge like a sponge. But suddenly…

"There he is! The demon brat!"

Oh, great, just great… let's see… There are around 20 people… 7 of them are ninjas. Rank-chunin…

The others are civilians. Very angry civilians. Damn it! Naruto lived without any beatings for almost 5 years. Why now!? Where are ANBU when you need them? If I will be out I'm definitely going to train the hell out of them myself. Oh, they will suffer , ku-ku-ku-ku… Ahem, moving on…

"Get him!"- The mob roared. Naruto had to run. You know, the stories, when Naruto outran experienced ninjas were … true, always. So it was not a surprise when he lost his attackers. But still, he wondered about the reason of the attack. He wasn't attacked since his early childhood, why did it happen the moment before, after so many years? At that moment he didn't know that he was under constant surveillance from an ANBU wearing the dog mask. Sometimes he was watched by a certain white-haired Sannin. These two people, following the aspects of stealth, information gathering and assassination (and porn) were real life saviors for Naruto. They stopped the mobs, before they could be formed, made sure that the boy would always be safe and well, as much as it was possible for a jinchuriki. How did I know? Well, I could feel their emotions and chakra even from the seal. Jiraiya felt like toads while Kakashi felt and smelled like a dog and books, so you do the math.

After the villagers started to leave, Naruto decided to follow them. He already knew how to mask his chakra. Pranking ANBU corps on nearly daily basis had some perks (plus a little help from yours truly). He followed the chunin to an almost destroyed store. Naruto listened to their words.

"I can't believe the demon got away after he robbed the shop and killed the owner. I mean why didn't we call an ANBU operative?"-one of them asked.

"And receive what? These masked freaks care for this little bastard too much. He will be protected. No, we are lucky there are no ANBU nearby so we can kill the brat when we find him".

Naruto couldn't believe his ears. He was accused of murder. Personally, me too. How was it possible? He was only a child! Then I felt Naruto's emotions, they were varied. Anger, confusion, pain… But there were also anxiety, interest and something akin to desire… But desire for what? I couldn't tell. Than the realization hit me in the face-it was the case.

Sometimes a policeman, a detective or a lawyer finds a case or a crime which he **needs **to solve. And he would stop at nothing I've been through that, and sometimes it's not pretty. The person becomes obsessive, he forgets about his normal life. And Naruto was totally consumed. Yep, detective mode all right.

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In the end it wasn't hard for Naruto at all. The case was simple. Let's face it. People in general are stupid. Really stupid. Though it wasn't a surprise actually that Naruto was framed, and framed poorly, I must say. I mean, come on, the owner of the shop was almost ripped apart, there was no way an 11 year old boy could do it. Civilians argued that Naruto could do it because he was a demon, to which the ANBUs who appeared soon countered that they didn't feel any demonic chakra. Everybody remembered my attack eleven years ago, so they knew how my chakra felt, they knew I would be unable to mask it, or so they thought… but anyway, this is a deal of a future. The funniest part was when Naruto pointed out himself that the body was not ripped-it was sliced apart. By what you may ask? As Naruto observed under the ANBU's gaze the wounds were clean, but too thin for a sword, so that meant something like a ninja wire. That shocked everybody around him. And it also made me laugh my ass off.

I was proud of the kit. Not every experienced investigator could point something like that, and then an 11 year old boy comes out and shows that he's much smarter than everybody around. Ha!

Now to clear some things out. Naruto knew that he was considered demon because he was born on October 10th and because of his whiskers. What he didn't know at the time was that I have been sealed inside his stomach by the Fourth Hokage. But that ignorance couldn't last for long.

The kid had a great future in front of him, and I was willing to it all to help him. Unfortunately Naruto was unable to find the killer that day, but that was not the end. Almost a year later…

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**Author's note: All those people who've been waiting for this long update-I'm sorry. There was an accident and I got in a hospital. First issue- I burnt my hands really bad and broke my leg in two places at the same time. There were several operations but I'm all right now more or less. Second issue I wanted to address- I was able to post a chapter of my Final Fantasy story thanks to my mother. And I also asked her to type some reviews for me when she was in hospital helping me. Third issue- now that my arms are 100 percent I'll try to update more frequently. But I'm still in hospital and I still got some health issues. So I hope you are not angry with me. So pm me if you have any questions. And please review-I really need your opinion.**

**Next chapter- Exams.**


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